Oh Lawd

These are just random thoughts from the mind of a country girl. . .



What they call dirty politics have been in the headlines for the past couple of weeks. Isn't this just politics as usual? We have become use to candidates attacking each other. The republicans are better at it, that's all. The Clinton's are master strategist. They wouldn't have been able to maintain this long if they were not. I don't think Bill or Hillary are racist. That would have come out a long time ago. What bothers me about the situation is that Obama is biting. He can't allow the Clinton's or the media to turn him into the black candidate. For all of our progress, this is still America. A black man can't and I'm sad to say, won't win that fight. The Major Issue I have with this is the old guard supporting Hillary. I know that this is America and we can support which ever candidate we choose... But DAMN! If Barack Obama's candidacy is not what the struggle is all about, then what the hell is? Somebody please tell me if I am wrong. The Andrew Young's of the world have me shaking my damn head here.



Why can't I get my tax rebate before June? You know when you mention free money (which is very rare in my life) my wheels start spinning. I need my check next week. I got some thangs to do with it. It's "free" money so I guess I shouldn't complain, but why don't I get more than the person who made $3000? This is why I feel like I have a case for not having to pay income tax. I'm single with no kids. There aren't very many if any social programs available to me. and government services would look at me like I'm crazy if I went to them. But, I'm sure the I, the R, and the S would toss my black ass, so I'll just complain and keep paying them.



It's almost time for the Superbowl. I'm not a fan of either team or any of the players for that matter. But, I'll still have a party, talk shit, drink too much and have a head ache on Monday morning. Some traditions we shouldn't break, even if the Saints had me all discombobulated all season.



I've recently been in a hair battle with myself. I decided to grow my hair out a couple of months ago. At that time it seemed like a good idea. But now, I have this mushroom / wedge thing going on and it looks horrible. I've been wearing my do short and sassy for over 10 years. I know that's a long time for a sister to wear the same do, but I like it. It may have been one of those rebellion things since I could never cut it while I was young. Thank the Lawd for weaves and wigs. Because it was taking a toll on my self esteem. I've been wearing this short, sassy bob for the past week or so. I think I'll go long next week. I'm trying to do something different, but the real deal is that I am so not a fan of long hair. And for me, long hair is anything close to my shoulders. We we just see how this goes. Maybe I will rock some twist or braids for a minute.......?

My Tribute

Back before Martin Luther King, Jr day was a federal holiday, my siblings and I would be among the few black children in school. I hated that. I could not understand why my mother would send us to school on the King holiday and no one else was going. I thought all black people deserved a day of rest. And if they weren't going to give it to us, we should take it anyway. After a couple of attempts to get an answer she finally told me why we had to go to school. She said that thousands of people were beaten, lynched, jailed, raped, homes burned down, and humiliated so that I could go to school and receive the same education and opportunities as anyone else. Those people never gave up; some even giving the ultimate sacrifice, for me to be given this chance. She felt that we had to be in school on the holiday.
My young mind couldn't grasp the fullness of that statement, but I accepted it and went to school every year until it was a calender day off.
Fast forward 20+ years. I am often the only black employee at work on the King holiday. I take a couple of hours off to march in the parade and attend the ceremony, but I'm right back at work. I don't travel on this holiday, for some reason it is extremely important for me to be in town to attend those events.... here, at home. I'm often asked why I come by my co-workers, because most of them take the day off with out pay. My answer is always the same. Too many people made the sacrifice for me to take a day off. I realise that the struggle is far from over. We have a lot of work to do and we are not in position to be able to take a day off. After all, Dr. King never took a day off. I view the day, the times of his life and his sacrifice with the utmost reverence, and that is why I work on this holiday.
When I think about the sisters and brothers in Birmingham who walked to work for months during the boycott. Or the young people who took beatings and harassment to sit at lunch counters. Or the share croppers who were lynched for demanding a decent wage. Or the Little Rock Nine. Or the four little girls who were blown up in church. Or the young people who marched knowing that the dogs would be loosed on them. See my way doesn't seem so hard. It's just another day on the job. But it is thru these peoples sacrifice and countless others that I am in position to do this job. For that, I say thank you.

Brown Suga

slanted brown eyes
wide nose, under neath which a light mustache grows
thick lips, round bottom, wide hips
big legs
large frame
but, my spirit is my claim to fame

i come from a long line of strong women you see
they gave this spirit to me
in times of storm and pain, it's to our faith that i cling
i look back thru history and my mothers tell me that i already have the victory
you are my chil' they say
lift your head, straighten your back, and let your hips sway

skin like brown suga
smile like sunshine
love feels this heart of mine
fried, dyed, and laid to the side is where my crown lies
beauty intelligence with common sense
given the gift to make a dollar out of fifteen cents


given power to stand on my own
in to this spirit i have grown
the woman i've been called to be
brown suga is sweet like me

Oh Yeah, Happy New Year

I feel the way O.J. looks. This n&^%a has to really be out there. Does he not have black folk survival skills? I get that some people are just f$!k ups, but come on dude your about 60, get it together.

The new year has brought on a bit of a funk for this sister. It actually carried on from the end of the year, but this week has been a bit worse. My thoughts are more jumbled than my schedule. There are not enough hours left in the day for me to get a good night sleep... that's if i could actually go to sleep. All signals point to the fact that this sister has too much on her plate and not enough substance. I never pictured adult life being like this when I was 15. Damn I want that fantasy back. No one told me that in trying to make the world a better place, there may be potential for me to loose myself. Honestly, I can't just blame it on one aspect of my life. I work way too much, and have to learn how to say no when people ask me to do things. My strict Methodist background makes that very difficult. " When your working for the Lord, you can't say no" always seems to be playing in my head these days.

But I did something for myself, I went dancing last night. For the first time in way too long. I put on my red dress and my high heels, some of that sweet perfume that smells so good on me. I went down to the spot, got a table, ordered a drink, and listened to some good soul music. I still have my magic. And I had a wonderful time. I have to do that more often. I got up this morning and went walking, it's been way too long since I did that too. I didn't go to tutoring or dance practice today. I'm sure that I will feel guilty about that a little later. But, right now I feel really good. I'm going to get spa treatments today so I will be feeling even better in a little while. Danny has the best hands in the world, if he wasn't gay......... oooooooh. The things that man can do to your shoulders and back should be packaged and sold. But, I digress. I might even pull out my little black dress tonight. I feel like listening to some jazz.